Adolescent Voices: What We Need From Our Families

Adolescents themselves are the most insightful experts on their own needs. Being sequestered at home is an unusual challenge for young people whose lives are primarily focused on their social identities and their role in their peer group. Montessori students are particularly primed to negotiate their relationships with others by voicing their needs and working collaboratively—as long as they feel heard and respected. Lifelong Montessori student, Lucy, age 17, shares her thoughts on what adolescents need from their families right now.

Lucy
Chardon, Ohio

It is good when the other adults in the house honor your space, just knowing you are in your room and then knocking, the same way any adult would like to be treated--not as their gift to you but because you are a young adult and we need to respect each other.

Cleaning projects around the house are important; we do that at school, and the expectations for cleaning the kitchen or bathrooms etc. holds. Map those out.

Big repair projects are great, too. I just painted our bathroom and my brother is out cleaning up the remainder of a tree removal project—which is huge. It is taking him forever, but he owns it.

Treat the days like school days: work on a schedule for online schoolwork, lunch, and exercise time; keep consistency in that. It should be like the schedule at school. The framework is there with enough elasticity for group work and independent work, as well as allowance for socializing.

Parents should know that we all want to do what is right, and we want to do it well. They should expect the best, just like our teachers do.

Some kind of guideline is important at times, but we are capable of creating these ourselves; we really are. Ask us to help create those guidelines.

Parents should know that we all want to do what is right, and we want to do it well. They should expect the best, just like our teachers do. Most of my teachers don’t have to say that, they just believe in us.

We want life to be somewhat normalized--not crisis oriented. Parents should know we want this to work and understand that we know our future depends on it working.

Have some family fun: cards games, board games, etc. Play is important.

Preparing the meals (taking turns) is a good practice. Eating as a family is important--having good conversations about the day and also about the crisis—with information from good sources.

We already do our own laundry, so that should continue.

Walking every day or almost every day with a parent is good. It’s a time to have some good conversations.

We can look online for ways to help others--reaching out as a family with each having a role.

I want parents to honor who we are and know we are capable of doing so many things for ourselves and for others. We can contribute to getting through this.