Working In Collaboration with Adolescents and Their Families

Adolescent practitioners share stories and updates from their own schools and work in this series. If you’d like to share an update with us, please send an email to Kari@IMTIOhio.org. We’d love to hear from you!

Course lecturer and advisor Pat Ludick encourages practitioners to connect with parents AND adolescents as learning shifts back into the home.

I believe that all of us who have been in this work for any length of time know that working in harmony with the parents of adolescents is a critical part of our mission. We often find ourselves to be peacemakers, active listeners, scientists, and guides on a whole new level. Perhaps during these days of home online learning, we can all sense the inroads we have made in this adult education process and can now build upon those relationships of trust. The opposite may be evident as well, but these unprecedented circumstances can be an incredible period of coming together in a collaborative manner around the needs of each adolescent. No matter where we are in that awareness, we must exact a whole new level of cooperation between home and school. 

We must do our best to reach out to each parent with grace and courtesy, with clarity and with sound strategies grounded in Montessori principles. 

Parents are diverse in their styles of parenting, and we must respect that reality. However, there is a set of concerns that commonly arise for many parents, no matter their varied approaches. Issues around curriculum, outcomes, assessment, discipline, and life beyond Montessori seem to be prime concerns nationwide. I suspect questions around these issues will surface readily during these home-schooling days. In that regard we have to listen, to coach, to teach, to redirect, but also to keep Montessori principles at the heart of all we do. We must be able to articulate the deep purpose behind why we do what we do.

It will be wise to honor wherever the young people are on the quest for independence and responsibility. In every case, collaborative decision-making with the adolescent is so important.

It is an appropriate time to help parents to realize the characteristics and responding needs of young adolescents and those of older adolescents. While a young adolescent may need careful scaffolding, the older adolescent may be perfectly at ease with creating their own workspace, setting up a reasonable schedule, and taking charge of their duties independently. It will be wise to honor wherever the young people are on the quest for independence and responsibility. In every case, collaborative decision-making with the adolescent is so important.  We must respect where they are and be tactful and respectful as we prepare the environment of the home together. On the other hand, we want to enable the parents to parent! There will be times for community/family meetings at regular intervals. Work of the home, laundry, yard work, making meals, care of pets, service to neighbors—all can be incorporated in discussions. 

I invite you to reach out to each family in a very personal way on a very regular basis, just as you do in advisory times with your adolescents. The ideal would be a conference call with the adolescent as part of that conversation. There will no doubt be ups and downs as families deal with their own frustrations, their worries, their own jobs, their health, and maybe some surprise revelations regarding their adolescent. You are the steady presence, the sturdy coach, the refined professional, and can certainly use your skills to serve well during this global crisis. Peace be with you!